I spent last night sucking down beers watching some potbellied man flail his arms about and spew garbage from his mouth. MC Hammer (after he dropped the MC and was puffing his chest out calling himself a gansta) would have been a better show. I should have known better than to think underground hip-hop out of the west had changed. Are those guys even underground any more? It seems like I saw Aesop Rock had done some Nike commercial.
"I mean everything sounds the same. Nobody tries to make their own sound. Why aren't more cats rhyming about corporate greed and American corruption, preaching to misinformed heads about the evils of the music biz, or trying to change something, you know. I'm doing something different, something special, something thats never been done before. Hang on a second my phones ringing....MY SONG'S GOING TO BE IN A NIKE COMMERCIAL!!! FUCK YESSSS!!!!!" (Direct quote from Emcee Douche Bag Mcgee #2,483,071)
What a crock. All the "indie" shows I've been to feature some really bad sound to boot. Most of the time the vocals are cranked and the dude's spitting so fast its like an amplified stomach grumble. Its almost guaranteed if you asked one of these guys who their influences were they'd feed you some bull about how they're not trying to repeat the past and they want to break new ground. Well, news flash, you're not. Your sound is a blatant and poorly crafted rip off of one of the illest west coast collectives, Project Blowed. You lack the rhythm necessary to be a rapper so you string together the longest words you can think of in hopes that someone will take it as intelligent word play and buy the CD you burned in your jammies while you were watching reruns of Who's the Boss?. When you get home and lick the soles of your feet to figure out where you've been, make sure you remember to keep your backpacking ass out of Texas. And give me my ten bucks back.
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